Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
