I puked a lego.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You need Xanax blowdarts
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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