also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
