I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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