Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
