Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
