I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
