ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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