halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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