This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
