hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
