Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
