Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
