that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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