so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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My feet surprised me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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