Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
