there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
