now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
