there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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