your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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