Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
