Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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