You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
