oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize