I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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