That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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