How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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