Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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