Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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