took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
