oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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