i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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