I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
