it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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