We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
