You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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