Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
