If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
