is wine microwaveable?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
