Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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