if you like me you must not know who I am
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
