So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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