God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize