I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
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The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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