Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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