I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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