if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
