I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
