Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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