please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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