bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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