I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
