Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
