I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
