I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
