I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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