...so i touched it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I want her autograph on my taint
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
