I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
