don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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