I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
