i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
