someone get that fucking seahorse.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
