Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
